Why I Care More About THEM

Earlier this week I was dialoguing with someone about something we both knew would need some future follow-up. At the end of our discussion they told me they’d follow-up with me next week. I told them I’d be on vacation with my family next week & would be unavailable.

They told me they’d just e-mail instead of calling.

I told them again that I would be unavailable.

THEM: No e-mail?

ME: No e-mail.

I am not a saint. I don’t have it all figured out but one thing I am certain of is that my family will always be more important than another e-mail, problem, phone call or text. We think it’s normal to stay connected & accessible 24/7 so most of us do but maybe we should ask if normal is really working? We live in a country where split families are almost the norm. Sadly, the numbers for those inside the church aren’t much better than those outside the church. Maybe this is because we talk more about putting our families first on Sunday than we spend time actually doing it the rest of the week.

As a pastor it’s easy for me to get so busy helping others create good marriages & families while I neglect my own.  I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I don’t like it. I had to decide early on in this journey that I wanted a family who loved me more than I wanted a church that would always have access to me. It might sound harsh to some but it’s absolutely true & I’m at peace with my decision.

It doesn’t matter what you do for a living because no matter what, I believe we all need to find ways to be intentionally unavailable to the outside world. We need to disconnect with them so we can reconnect with the people who truly need us the most. The pictures of Aubri & Owen at the top of this post are from a Disney trip we took last year. I keep them in my phone as a constant reminder of the memories that are made when I’m fully present with my family. May we all learn to disconnect  so that we can reconnect with our families. 




6 thoughts on “Why I Care More About THEM

  1. Debie Grimm says:


    Family is priority and I do not blame you a bit. Good for you!

  2. Rachel Hines says:

    Love this!!! Enjoy your time together!

  3. In the airport now getting ready to do exactly that. Technology is about to go bye bye for a week!

  4. Thanks for the encouragement Debbie!

  5. Andy Jarvi says:


    Early in my career as a firefighter one of my Assistant Chiefs told me at his retirement party that take his advice in that of all the things he regretted in life was that he did too much career wise and missed some incredibly important moments in his families lives and that I should avoid that. God and family first, career second! It has stuck with me to this day.

  6. Great perspective Andy! Thanks.

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