What I Haven’t Learned

A lot of leaders, myself included, like to share what experience has taught us. On the heels of CP’s 2nd birthday, I thought I’d take a different route & share some of the things experience hasn’t yet taught me. Today, you get to see what I’m still struggling with & battling through as a leader. Mask off. Full disclosure. Here’s what I haven’t learned yet: 

  • How to guide the vision without controlling the vision. God called CP to fulfill a very unique vision. He gave me that vision & I carry the weight of being responsible for it. I’m afraid that sometimes, this causes me to control people & situations more than I should. I want to train & equip leaders not followers & that requires guidance not control.
  • How to see everyone through the eyes of Christ. We have a messy church full of messy people. We admit it. We accept it. We love it. I believe everyone is worthy of a second chance & yet I sometimes I feel like I still pick & choose who gets that chance without meaning to do so. Some people are just harder to relate to than others but I never want anyone to sit on the sidelines simply because their different & we couldn’t find a way to connect them. If I see everyone through the eyes of Christ this will not happen.
  • How to balance faith with common sense. In all actuality, faith almost always defies common sense so that would be my first problem. Truth be told, knowing this is not enough some days. I believe there have been times where common sense said NO while faith said GO & I chose to side with reason instead of trust in God. There have been plenty of times I went with faith but I pray daily for that margin to be shortened. For God to do extraordinary things I must have extraordinary faith.
  • How not to let this vision consume my every thought. God has given me passion and for that I am thankful but there are many days when I have a hard time shutting my mind off of CP for a while. I believe this sometimes negatively impacts my ability to be present with family & friends. This vision weaves into every facet of my life & it’s the best worst thing in the world. I’ll be a healthier person when I learn to turn it off on a more consistent basis & be fully present in the moments I find myself in.
  • How not to care about the outward stuff. I do care about numbers. I do care about image. I do care about perception. There are so many things I consume myself with that I really shouldn’t. I justify it but only for my own selfish sake. I want to care about the things God cares about yet I know much of what spins through my head everyday is in direct contrast to this.

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