What If?

2-years ago today, my father passed away after his third bout with cancer. It was a tough pill to swallow for our entire family & 730 days later I have learned one thing more than anything else from this loss. We can’t live our life by constantly asking “what if?”

My dad was an incredible husband, father, pastor, leader & friend. We were always close but developed a true connection late in my high-school years that continued to deepen up until his passing. I trusted his wisdom and he loved my creativity. We didn’t see eye to eye on everything and we learned to accept that without holding a grudge. When I faced a problem or situation in my life, my dad was the first person I would go to. I no longer have that opportunity so I’m left with the “what if?”

I have come to the realization that my dad would not want me to live my life with a “what if?” mentality. I want to visit him and ask him for advice. I want him to hold the two grandchildren he’s never seen. I want him to go the basketball game with the rest of us tonight. “What if?” It doesn’t have to be a bad thing to think about, but I have learned from experience that it can become paralyzing when we dwell on it because we grieve instead of live.

I would venture to say I am not the only one who has struggled with the loss of a loved one. This post is therapeutic for me & it is my hope that this post encourages you to live your life without dwelling on the “what if?” I can’t imagine that those who have gone on before us want us to do anything but live our lives to the fullest here & now. Today, I celebrate life not death!

CV

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8 thoughts on “What If?

  1. What a great post. A great tribute as well. Love you much and I love this picture.

  2. Tiffani Strange says:

    I loved your ending comments! Such a hard concept to get sometimes. Thanks for the perspective!!

  3. Jeff Strange says:

    Awesome words Christopher ! I needed to be reminded to let go of all of the “what if’s” in this life. Life always has more questions than answers. I miss your dad terribly. He had a deep impact on my life.
    Take the ball and run with it brother. Though you may carry the ball in a different way than your dad, his DNA in you (physical & spiritual) is obvious. I appreciate you and your family Christopher !

  4. Worship101 says:

    Awesome post man — and hard to read without tears welling up. I pray that your family is immensely blessed throughout this season.

    I’m reminded of the scripture that comforted Melody Green Keith Green passed:

    John 12:24 – I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives.

    I think this definitely applies to your dad. I love getting to know you and see the things you’re doing — An amazing harvest of fruit born in a corn field…. many years ago.

    – Keith Yates

  5. Karen says:

    Christopher your Dad would be so proud of you. For your maturity in the words you have spoken, for the way you live your life, for the father, you have become and for the husband you are. For loving God and loving his people. I celebrate life with you today. Eric, you are desperately missed here on earth. Your legacy lives on.

  6. mattkysor says:

    Thanks for sharing brother. Your dad would be & is so proud of you & I know he’s rooting you and the rest of the family on.

  7. Thank you all for such kind & encouraging words! Our entire family appreciates your prayers & support!

  8. Bob Grace says:

    Thank-you for your blog. It is inevitable that we will all loose someone dear to us one day.We all can rest assure that it is a part of our journey. I am thankful for the father I had and the little things he said through his actions through the years that he loved me. Not so much in words but just being a rock. I didn’t appreciate that in my younger years. Now I am on the low side of sixty and have more life under my belt and see so many things I didn’t before. My father probably only told me a dozen times he loved me but, he showed me many hundreds of times. I look forward with anticipation the day we are reunited with my dear wife in heaven one day.

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